“The Walker on the Waters have always existed, and their deeds are handed down from ear to ear throughout the history of mankind. They are not a sect, a group or an esoteric school, even if many of them have belonged or were in contact with one. They have always existed on this plane; you can find some footprints of their passing in all Ages of human history. Some of them are remembered as great individuals, and their actions which changed situations and people are claimed even today, but most of them have passed silently, voluntarily unnoticed behind the curtains of known history. Today these people act in the same way.”
These words, spoken by F., was the answer to my question about to which degree is it possible to control emotions. This answer reminded me of the act of Jesus walking on the Galilee Sea.
Our relationship was begun in the early nineties, when I met this extraordinary individual who gave a reason and a direction to the whole course of my life. He never presented himself as an “enlightened” Teacher, or a Master. He always refused this, and was repulsed at this form of relationship. Indeed, he always stated that a pupil -teacher approach could be dangerous for both, because it usually produced a type of dependence. So, he appeared at a very critical moment of my life, and from our first meeting, this individual broke every one of my convictions and beliefs, reminding me of the unexpressed possibilities I had ignored to possess, in order to live a more truthful and fulfilling life.
“So, you say that they always existed, but had they a particular mission? And, if so, what kind of mission was it?” I asked F. once we were in a bar drinking the fourth cup of coffee. Even if he was not a person who was tolerant of excesses, such as drinking alcoholic drinks, he said once that such “drugs” used with an intent were a useful mean to achieve particular states of Being. In the case of coffee, he said that it decreases the emotional field, improving the work of the intellect, and that was the reason why we were drinking coffee during this “intellectual” conversation. In his life, nothing seemed to be casual. All that he did seemed to be intentional.
“Of course each of them had and still have a mission”, he said “but what is sure is that God didn’t give them such a mission. They chose it”. Then, he looked into my eyes and smiled, such as every time he noticed in me something I was unsure of asking a precise question which was interesting me in a particular way, for the singular reason I feared to be derided by a man I respected. “Why do you desist? Ask… ask the question you keep in yourself: was Gurdjieff one of them?”
During that period , I belonged to a group of friends who were interested in the same thing: all what was or seemed to be esoteric. We were interested in investigating every possible field of this argument, and each of us were inquiring on a specific one. Even if my field was the man’s energetic system, I was very interested in the concept of awareness, and Gurdjieff seemed to be a very inspiring source for my “hidden” interests.
“ I leave this answer for you to discover. What is sure is that they used similar, if not the same, let’s call them, “tools”, to achieve their final aim. Such as your “spiritual hero”, also the Walkers on the Sea noticed that humans live in a near- drunk condition, tottering here and there in every field of their life. Like an LSD consumer, humans experience their life as a hallucination produced by their minds and consequential emotional states. Each human lives in a prison of which his thoughts define the limits, like walls, so they make all the world as a prison of concepts, dogmas, blind beliefs and many other stupidities. This is what such incommensurable Beings noticed; they realized that the only way to escape this prison was to sober up. What such individuals handed down has never disappeared, has always been at the disposal of those who noticed these teachings. It’s not so important to know the names of these individuals .What is important is that you notice the power of their teachings, that you feel the inner fire arising and burn in you. Ponder on this: the Walkers on the Water… what happens in you when you hear this name? When we speak about that, do you feel this fire burning your heart? For a while, you feel ready to accept this challenge, don’t you? All seems possible. For a while, you perceive the limits of such a prison, and this hurts; but, at the same time, you feel that there is a vast space behind these walls, don’t you? I understand you… It happened also to me. So, even you have recognized yourself to be drunk, so maybe you wish to become a member of this club of anonymous alcoholics in order to sober up”
The he smiled, as though amused by his own words”.
I tried to look deep inside, to notice what was happening in me, under all the tensions produced from this speech and the presence of the man who was becoming, from this precise moment, my mentor. It was a familiar feeling, which brought me to a known but forgotten experience, and I was able to perceive at that moment, both attraction and malaise, as though there was a part in me who felt these words as a returning home, to a forgotten source, while all the rest of myself was rebelling, finding solace in remaining in the usual condition- in solitude, closed between four walls of a prison to which I was consigned since my early childhood.
Yes, it was reminding me of my childhood, my mother’s care towards me, the desire of her presence, her eyes, face, the desire to remain with her instead of taking the challenge of travelling through the world, towards my own personal, emancipated life. But it reminded me also of other periods of my young life, when other women evoked the same feeling and the wish to remain in their company, to have them near me, to feel safe, and also a wish for emancipation, autonomy, the evidence of being enough to myself.
I don’t know why, but in my mind arose the figure of Ulix, his solitude in the face of a destiny of a perpetual traveler, and the challenges faced during his path; always focused on his goal, despite the temptations, present at every station during his path- the goal of remaining in one place and finally resting.
Even Adam was a semi- God in the Garden of Eden; still separated from his Father, he cannot die nor understand life, because all around him was expressed without a mystery, without a beginning or an end. He was the master of all surrounding him, but it was prohibited to let him know, because he had to remain in the perimeter of space given to him. So the Endless father gave him the possibility, gifting him with the inner fire, the principle which will drag him to the perpetual cycle of birth and death, of strivings and yearnings, with only the desire of rejoining with the Father of which, truly, he had been never been separated.
But Adam didn’t know this yet, so he had to learn this lesson through a tool that’s as sacred as life itself, a fire that will make him lose his paradise and, eventually, find it again; but this time, he’ll enter the doors of his old home as a renewed, emancipated, complete individual.
Yes…now I was beginning to understand what was asked of me. And I was feeling that: that need which burns as a fire from the inside; such as the wish for life of a person who was drowning , was able to give to her the necessary strength to remain on the surface. I also felt this need, like the indispensable need for air, this fire.
F. looked at me, smiled and said: “Yes, you are ready for this challenge. You have the possibility to become a walker on the waters.”