Self observation and the observation of the world that surrounds us is the principal tool to achieve an emancipation from the illusory views and to develop, step by step, a better understanding and a higher level of consciousness. But, what means observation? Who is the observer and, what is he observing?The contemporary physical science gave us the demonstration that a pure observation is impossible, all the universe interacts, so, according to this theory (demonstrated in practice) it’s impossible to observe an object without influence it: in fact, an object or a phenomenon will react differently than without the presence of the observer. A simple example: if we pretend to observe the reactions of a liquid immersing in it, every reaction of this liquid will be conditioned by our mass, movements, body temperature etc…So, a pure observation from the internal of a system results impossible: we need to exit from this system and investigate from an other plane where we’ll can’t exert any influence. Of course, our influence toward the physical field is minimum, so it’s unimportant. But, when we speak of the emotional and mental (psychological) fields, the matter is less dense, so the fluctuations are very significant: it’s enough to notice how our inconscious mechanical attiutudes- gestures, glances, words- could influence who is near us. The influence is molre relavant if the object of the observation is the observer himself, if we must to observe orselves.When we observe ourselves we change our behaviour, as childs who are surprised by the parents when doing some “prank”: we cover what have done, our reactions, our behaviours, and deny both the intentions and the event.But, when we observe ourselves we are not childs against parents, we cover our actions to ourselves, denying the obvious, briefly, we lie to ourselves.I decide to stop smoking, or drinking, or something else, but we are weak, we have not enough energy to perform what we have decided; however our intention is pure and sincere, we’ll fall in some kind of trap that will divert us from our intentions. There is always a “special occasion” or a “one more would be not harmful” who divert us from our aim. “I feel bored”, “I feel nervous”, “I feel weak” “It’s surely because I’ve stopped too much drastically my behaviour” and we light a cigarette, drink a glass of beer, or eat colossal amounts of food and stop our diet…” and I feel good because I do this to stop whit this harmful attitude, because, later, I’ll feel better, calm, stronger, so I’ll be able to change something”…The correct affirmation would be:”I am not able to stop smoking, drinking, to mantain a diet…, I always postpone… the only solution would be a real and conscious super effort…”Instead, I persuade myself that I’ve stopped whit smoke, drink, that I’ve start a diet and I feel dishearten when I light a cigarette or drink a beer secretly, or when I break in the fridge at night, denying what is unmistakable. That’s our life, that’s how we act in our everyday life….Everyday we promise that we’ll be better, that we’ll do 30 minutes of gymnastic to mantain our body strong and healthy, that we’ll meditate, that we’ll be more awake, attentive, punctual. And we are convinced to be sincere. But the false dominates our lifes, even when we try to imitate someone who has achieved the goal we want to achieve.The problem is not to succeed or not, we can fall and rise, and it could happen thousand times… this is a normal thing in the field of the inner research, isn’t it? The change, the transformation, is difficult and upsetting for the reason that we begin and act every moment from the condition we are now. And it is not a good condition. An inner developement is impossible if we search some apology, some justification, but recognizing honestly our limits. When we recognize them thousand times, they become unpleasant, a bad company. Only then, the observer will be able to act more detached from the object of his observation and from the need to find some excuse and deceiving himself.
Copyright © 2010 by Andrea Dandolo